Pink Satin

2017-09-05 00.45.17

To not fit in, is the black girl ode, the generalizations setting the proclamation that I can not etch myself out of dreams that have traveled with me, into this life. They ask me to hide my river beads of ancestry, not to speak in my natural vernacular, enunciate, and drop sounds, that then impound me with that etymology, but I am a poet so to speak. I like to be frank, not Greg, I came here to say it all. But this black girl badge I can no longer own or have, I never could trace myself back to this agreed upon, black girl land, where my culture is soul food and hip-hop, where my speech is programmed by Nike and Reebok, I got to go to the club til I can’t stop, wear this or that then make that ass drop, whatever ghetto neighborhood slang to proclaim from what set I claim, but I didn’t come from the prison yard, so I can’t pretend that I am hard, I am after all a woman too. Liken to be that like the ancient Hebrews that know their King, more like native women standing in a circle singing, meditating in green inspired spaces, changing the atmosphere in places, I did not come to be a commercial advertising products I don’t know, made from a flawed individual that may not even believe, that I as person is capable of great things, as the wind blows. I have learned to etch myself out of the fantasies of men who have placed me, mentally, on their sex farms, picking me apart, unaware of my brilliance, trying to dull my shine. Or the perception of the malignant mind trying to define me, as if they created the diameters in my circumference, when in actuality they don’t understand my ciphered circle and what I am made of. I am not what you heard of.. and for that in this moment I do live… Finally placing myself back on the grid, out of the prison in which others live, back in context with the way I see myself, draped in knowledge of self, undefined but constantly formed by the truth on fire for Jesus since youth, if you ever wonder who you are speaking to. I have to etch myself out of the created black habitat, because I am every woman, I have no problem saying that.

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